twitter quotes

ashleyrebeccah

I wish antis would stop complaining ab not wanting 2pay 4 abortion. I don't agree w war so I guess I shouldn't have 2pay 4 that.

PPact

RT @KiaJD: My dating motto/Don't sleep with anti-choice boys/they don't understand

antitheistangie

So tired of random Christians demanding I explain morality for them. If you can't understand how to treat people, that's not MY fault/issue.

beyondmythology

RT @AtheistQOTD - "Religion attacks us in our deepest integrity by saying we wouldn't be able to make a moral decision without it" ~Hitchens

antitheistangie

Rick Warren's #Christianity seems to be anti-humanism. "You're worthless & disgusting & only here to kiss god's ass for eternity." Yucky.

"The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"

When the Anti-Choice Choose

By Joyce Arthur

Copyright © September, 2000

http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/anti-tales.html

Abortion is a highly personal decision that many women are sure they'll never have to think about until they're suddenly faced with an unexpected pregnancy. But this can happen to anyone, including women who are strongly anti-choice. So what does an anti-choice woman do when she experiences an unwanted pregnancy herself? Often, she will grin and bear it, so to speak, but frequently, she opts for the solution she would deny to other women -- abortion.

In the spring of 2000, I collected the following anecdotes directly from abortion doctors and other clinic staff in North America, Australia, and Europe. The stories are presented in the providers' own words, with minor editing for grammar, clarity, and brevity. Names have been omitted to protect privacy.

"I have done several abortions on women who have regularly picketed my clinics, including a 16 year old schoolgirl who came back to picket the day after her abortion, about three years ago. During her whole stay at the clinic, we felt that she was not quite right, but there were no real warning bells. She insisted that the abortion was her idea and assured us that all was OK. She went through the procedure very smoothly and was discharged with no problems. A quite routine operation. Next morning she was with her mother and several school mates in front of the clinic with the usual anti posters and chants. It appears that she got the abortion she needed and still displayed the appropriate anti views expected of her by her parents, teachers, and peers." (Physician, Australia)

"I've had several cases over the years in which the anti-abortion patient had rationalized in one way or another that her case was the only exception, but the one that really made an impression was the college senior who was the president of her campus Right-to-Life organization, meaning that she had worked very hard in that organization for several years. As I was completing her procedure, I asked what she planned to do about her high office in the RTL organization. Her response was a wide-eyed, 'You're not going to tell them, are you!?' When assured that I was not, she breathed a sigh of relief, explaining how important that position was to her and how she wouldn't want this to interfere with it." (Physician, Texas)

"In 1990, in the Boston area, Operation Rescue and other groups were regularly blockading the clinics, and many of us went every Saturday morning for months to help women and staff get in. As a result, we knew many of the 'antis' by face. One morning, a woman who had been a regular 'sidewalk counselor' went into the clinic with a young woman who looked like she was 16-17, and obviously her daughter. When the mother came out about an hour later, I had to go up and ask her if her daughter's situation had caused her to change her mind. 'I don't expect you to understand my daughter's situation!' she angrily replied. The following Saturday, she was back, pleading with women entering the clinic not to 'murder their babies.'" (Clinic escort, Massachusetts)

"We too have seen our share of anti-choice women, ones the counselors usually grit their teeth over. Just last week a woman announced loudly enough for all to hear in the recovery room, that she thought abortion should be illegal. Amazingly, this was her second abortion within the last few months, having gotten pregnant again within a month of the first abortion. The nurse handled it by talking about all the carnage that went on before abortion was legalized and how fortunate she was to be receiving safe, professional care. However, this young woman continued to insist it was wrong and should be made illegal. Finally the nurse said, 'Well, I guess we won't be seeing you here again, not that you're not welcome.' Later on, another patient who had overheard this exchange thanked the nurse for her remarks." (Clinic Administrator, Alberta)

"We saw a woman recently who after four attempts and many hours of counseling both at the hospital and our clinic, finally, calmly and uneventfully, had her abortion. Four months later, she called me on Christmas Eve to tell me that she was not and never was pro-choice and that we failed to recognize that she was clinically depressed at the time of her abortion. The purpose of her call was to chastise me for not sending her off to the psych unit instead of the procedure room." (Clinic Administrator, Alberta)

"Recently, we had a patient who had given a history of being a 'pro-life' activist, but who had decided to have an abortion. She was pleasant to me and our initial discussion was mutually respectful. Later, she told someone on my staff that she thought abortion is murder, that she is a murderer, and that she is murdering her baby. So before doing her procedure, I asked her if she thought abortion is murder -- the answer was yes. I asked her if she thought I am a murderer, and if she thought I would be murdering her baby, and she said yes. But murder is a crime, and murderers are executed. Is this a crime? Well, it should be, she said. At that point, she became angry and hostile, and the summary of the conversation was that she regarded me as an abortion-dispensing machine, and how dare I ask her what she thinks. After explaining to her that I do not perform abortions for people who think I am a murderer or people who are angry at me, I declined to provide her with medical care. I do not know whether she found someone else to do her abortion." (Physician, Colorado)

"In 1973, after Roe v. Wade, abortion became legal but had to be performed in a hospital. That of course was changed later. For the first 'legal abortion day' I had scheduled five procedures. While scrubbing between cases, I was accosted by the Chief of the OB/Gyn service. He asked me, 'How many children are you going to kill today?' My response, out of anger, was a familiar vulgar retort. About three months later, this born-again Christian called me to explain that he was against abortion but his daughter was only a junior in high school and was too young to have a baby and he was also afraid that if she did have a baby she would not want to put it up for adoption. I told him he did not need to explain the situation to me. 'All I need to know', I said, 'is that SHE wants an abortion.' Two years later I performed a second abortion on her during her college break. She thanked me and pleaded, 'Please don't tell my dad, he is still anti-abortion.'" (Physician, Washington State)

"The sister of a Dutch bishop in Limburg once visited the abortion clinic in Beek where I used to work in the seventies. After entering the full waiting room she said to me, 'My dear Lord, what are all those young girls doing here?' 'Same as you', I replied. 'Dirty little dames,' she said." (Physician, The Netherlands)

"I had a patient about ten years ago who traveled up to New York City from South Carolina for an abortion. I asked her why she went such a long way to get the procedure. Her answer was that she was a member of a church group that didn't believe in abortion and she didn't want anyone to know she was having one. She planned to return to the group when she went back to South Carolina." (Physician, New York)

"I once had a German client who greatly thanked me at the door, leaving after a difficult 22-week abortion. With a gleaming smile, she added: 'Und doch sind Sie ein Mörderer.' ('And you're still a murderer.')" (Physician, The Netherlands)

"My first encounter with this phenomenon came when I was doing a 2-week follow-up at a family planning clinic. The woman's anti-choice values spoke indirectly through her expression and body language. She told me that she had been offended by the other women in the abortion clinic waiting room because they were using abortion as a form of birth control, but her condom had broken so she had no choice! I had real difficulty not pointing out that she did have a choice, and she had made it! Just like the other women in the waiting room." (Physician, Ontario)

"A 21 year old woman and her mother drove three hours to come to their appointment for an abortion. They were surprised to find the clinic a 'nice' place with friendly, personable staff. While going over contraceptive options, they shared that they were Pro-Life and disagreed with abortion, but that the patient could not afford to raise a child right now. Also, she wouldn't need contraception since she wasn't going to have sex until she got married, because of her religious beliefs. Rather than argue with them, I saw this as an opportunity for dialogue, and in the end, my hope was that I had planted a 'healing seed' to help resolve the conflict between their beliefs and their realities." (Physician, Washington State)

"I had a 37 year old woman just yesterday who was 13 weeks. She said she and her husband had been discussing this pregnancy for 2-3 months. She was strongly opposed to abortion, 'but my husband is forcing me to do it.' Naturally, I told her that no one could force her into an abortion, and that she had to choose whether the pregnancy or her husband were more important. I told her I only wanted what was best for her, and I would not do the abortion unless she agreed that it was in her best interest. Once she was faced with actually having to voice her own choice, she said 'Well, I made the appointment and I came here, so go ahead and do it. It's what's best.' At last I think she came to grips with the fact that it really was her decision after all." (Physician, Nevada)

"We have anti-choice women in for abortions all the time. Many of them are just naive and ignorant until they find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. Many of them are not malicious. They just haven't given it the proper amount of thought until it completely affects them. They can be judgmental about their friends, family, and other women. Then suddenly they become pregnant. Suddenly they see the truth. That it should only be their own choice. Unfortunately, many also think that somehow they are different than everyone else and they deserve to have an abortion, while no one else does." (Physician, Washington State)

Although few studies have been made of this phenomenon, a study done in 1981 (1) found that 24% of women who had abortions considered the procedure morally wrong, and 7% of women who'd had abortions disagreed with the statement, "Any woman who wants an abortion should be permitted to obtain it legally." A 1994/95 survey (2,3) of nearly 10,000 abortion patients showed 18% of women having abortions are born-again or Evangelical Christians. Many of these women are likely anti-choice. The survey also showed that Catholic women have an abortion rate 29% higher than Protestant women. A Planned Parenthood handbook on abortion notes that nearly half of all abortions are for women who describe themselves as born-again Christian, Evangelical Christian, or Catholic. (4)

According to a 1987 article, Abortion Clinics' Toughest Cases,(5) "Physicians and clinics frequently terminate pregnancies for women who believe abortion is 'murder' and 'a sin' but who are not anti-abortion activists. Demonstrators, organizers, and leaders in the [anti-abortion] movement are seen less frequently, ranging from perhaps once or twice a month to a few times in the course of a professional career." The article contained the following anecdotes:

An administrator at a Missouri clinic recalled a woman blurting out in the recovery room, "It should be illegal." The other women's mouths fell open, said the administrator. "They couldn't believe it."

The medical director of an Indianapolis clinic recalled one prospective patient who phoned to ask whether the clinic had a back door. He said no. How, she asked, could she get inside without being seen by fellow picketers outside? Pointing out that two orthopedists practiced with him, the doctor told the woman "she could limp and say she was coming to see the orthopods."

The medical director at a Dallas abortion clinic told this story: A white woman from an affluent north Dallas neighborhood brought her black maid in for an abortion and paid for it. While the maid was in a counseling session, a commotion was heard in the waiting room outside. The maid's employer was handing out anti-abortion leaflets to other women waiting for abortions.

From a clinic director in a mid-western state: "One of the most remarkable cases was a woman who came [from another part of the state] and said she was the Right-to-Life president in her county. 'But,' she said, she 'had become pregnant and had to have an abortion.'"

From a counselor in Virginia: "[The patient] was disturbed and upset and insisted she couldn't carry the pregnancy to term. She opposed abortion -- and in fact had picketed this very clinic -- [but] felt the abortion was something she had to do."

Many anti-choice women are convinced that their need for abortion is unique -- not like those "other" women -- even though they have abortions for the same sorts of reasons. Anti-choice women often expect special treatment from clinic staff. Some demand an abortion immediately, wanting to skip important preliminaries such as taking a history or waiting for blood test results. Frequently, anti-abortion women will refuse counseling (such women are generally turned away or referred to an outside counselor because counseling at clinics is mandatory). Some women insist on sneaking in the back door and hiding in a room away from other patients. Others refuse to sit in the waiting room with women they call "sluts" and "trash." Or if they do, they get angry when other patients in the waiting room talk or laugh, because it proves to them that women get abortions casually, for "convenience".

A few behave in a very hostile manner, such as calling clinic staff "murderers." Years ago, a clinic counselor in British Columbia told me that one of her patients went into the procedure room apparently fine with her decision to have an abortion. During the abortion, at a stage when it was too late to stop the procedure, the woman started screaming "You murderers!" and other invectives at everyone in the room.

A few doctors actually refuse to provide abortions to anti-choice women for liability reasons. In the words of a Kansas physician:

"Early in my career, I thought I was obligated to provide an abortion for every woman who arrived at my doorstep requesting an abortion. My experience in general medicine, surgery, and abortion has led me to believe differently. Not inadvertently, women give either me or my staff an uneasy feeling about their ambivalence or their anxiety about the abortion process. Since I have never been sued for an abortion I did not perform, my policy is to acknowledge my gut feeling, which is more often right than wrong."

A clinic counselor from Georgia stated:

"I have long felt that anti-abortionism is a psychological contraindication to the abortion procedure. And that we don't have to give everyone who asks an abortion. An anti-abortion woman is likely to be uncooperative and will probably not follow post-op instructions or instructions on how to deal with complications. There is actually a case where an anti-abortion patient failed to go as directed to Emergency for an unrelated complication. She ended up dying, and her family sued the physician and badgered him publicly. Additionally, if you have a complication that day, it will be the anti-abortionist. I'm not talking about the patient who says, 'I was against abortion until it happened to me', or 'I'm really against abortion, but I have to do this'. I'm talking about the picketer, the activist, the totally anti-creature who will come back to haunt us."

In fact, an anti-abortion organization called Life Dynamics Inc., of Denton Texas, specializes in malpractice suits against abortion providers. They advertise for and exploit women who regret their abortion decision or who had complications, and try and persuade them to file suit against the doctor or clinic. Many of these women are vulnerable and suffer from emotional problems, but others are anti-abortion, or at least very ambivalent about their decision to have an abortion. The message that abortion is murder has had a profound influence on them, and it may leave them with a legacy of guilt and shame after their abortion, too often borne alone and in silence. When these women find themselves unable to cope with their abortions, they may look for somebody else to blame, and doctors become a convenient scapegoat.

At times, clinic staff understandably become frustrated and angry when they have to deal with abusive, hostile, or hypocritical patients. And it is rare for anti-choice women to express appreciation for the service they've received. But most clinics perform abortions on anti-abortion women because they feel it's their obligation to help all women. They provide more thorough and specialized counseling to these women to ensure they take ownership of their decision, as far as possible. Here's a couple of examples of counseling techniques:

"When a patient comes in with my 'favorite' sentiment: 'The only moral abortion is my abortion,' I try to expand her understanding that a few more of us have had and deserve a 'moral' abortion. When a woman expands her need for care beyond herself, you no longer have an 'anti'." (Clinic Administrator, Louisiana)

"Sometimes I say to patients who have that 'I have no choice, I know I'll regret it, just do me' attitude: 'You may not care, but we do. We only do abortions on women who want our services. We will not knowingly contribute to any possible trauma of any woman.' They seem surprised that we care how we do our work, but they also accept it." (Counselor, New York)

Some anti-choice women who have abortions do make peace with their decision and even become pro-choice, or at least more forgiving of other women seeking abortions. A Louisiana patient who was anti-choice before her abortion, wrote a warm and grateful thank-you letter to the clinic, admitting that she had been a hypocrite:

"I never dreamed, in my wildest nightmares, that there would ever be a situation where I personally would choose such an act. Of course, we would each like to think that our reasons for a termination are the exception to the rule. But the bottom line is that you people spend your lives, reputations, careers and energy fighting for, maintaining, and providing an option that I needed, while I spent my energy lambasting you. Yet you still allowed me to make use of your services even though I had been one of your enemies. You treated us as kindly and warmly as you did all of your patients and never once pointed an 'I told you so' finger in our direction. I got the impression that you cared equally about each woman in the facility and what each woman was going through, regardless of her reasons for choosing the procedure. I have never met a group of purely non-judgmental people like yourselves."

On occasion, an abortion turns out to be a momentous, life-affirming experience for an anti-choice woman. A doctor from a north-western state shared the following personal story with me:

"I was born into a very Catholic family, and was politically pro-life during college. After dating my first real boyfriend for three years, we broke up, and the day my boyfriend moved out, I discovered I was pregnant. It was an agonizing decision, and something I never thought I would do, but I decided an abortion was the only realistic option. Thanks to Planned Parenthood counseling, I worked through some very tough conflicts within myself. I had to learn that my decision was a loving one. That 'my god' was actually a loving and supportive god. And that men don't have to make this decision, only women do. That it is a very personal, individual decision. I had to own it. I became much more compassionate towards myself and others as a result of my experience. Two years later I began medical school. When it came time to choose a practice, an abortion clinic opportunity came up. In working there, I began to feel that this was my calling. Having been in my patients' shoes, and coming from an unforgiving background, I could honestly say to patients, 'I know how you feel.' Deciding to have an abortion was THE hardest decision I've ever made in my life. Yet it has brought me the greatest transformation, fulfillment, and now joy. I am a more loving person because of it, and a better doctor for having experienced it. I love the work that I do, and the opportunity to support women seeking to end an unwanted pregnancy. My patients and my work are life's gifts to me, and I think my compassion and support are my gifts in return."

---

1. Henshaw, S.K. and G. Martire. 1982. Abortion and the Public Opinion Polls: 1. Morality and Legality. Family Planning Perspectives. 14:2, pp 53-60, March/April.

2. The Alan Guttmacher Institute. 1996. Abortion Common Among All Women, Even Those Thought to Oppose Abortion. http://www.agi-usa.org/pubs/archives/prabort2.html

3. Henshaw, S.K. and K. Kost. 1996. Abortion Patients in 1994-1995: Characteristics and Contraceptive Use. Family Planning Perspectives. 28:4, July/August. http://www.agi-usa.org/pubs/journals/2814096.html

4. Planned Parenthood of America. Pro-Choice Debate Handbook. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/politicalarena/Pro-Choice_Debate_Handbook.html#4

5. Medical World News. 1987. Abortion Clinic's Toughest Cases. pp 55-61. March 9.

Thanks dad

http://www.daddyfiles.com/2010/07/29/thanks-dad-2/

It’s been more than two weeks since I detailed our ordeal with little Alex, and I’m still getting crap from anti-choice zealots. Like these gems:

I am confused. Why is the couple supposed to feel better about having an abortion and cutting the obviously living baby’s life short? Why is that supposed to be better than letting nature take its course and delivering the stillborn baby? Is it because it’s less trouble for the parents? So they can get the baby’s death over and start the grieving process sooner? Wouldn’t it be harder to be the cause of my baby’s death after seeing an ultrasound, as they did? It seems to me there IS only one choice, to let this baby live as long as possible.

Here is the problem with the logic of this video. This guy is upset because he put great value in the 16 week old fetus that he calls “our baby”, but his lack of understanding for what these protesters are trying to do seems to give no value in the other “babies” that are killed at this location. He says it was one of the most difficult days of their lives, but has NO EMPATHY for the other babies murdered there and those trying to prevent their deaths.

The pro life lady was not yelling at anybody, you were yelling at her. Abortion is on demand worldwide, the killing of innocent human life is not rare but has become way too common. You should take a look in the mirror because you need to Repent.

Nice huh? Some real Mensa candidates in that bunch.

Thankfully, they’ve been the minority and all of you have been fantastic. As in spectacularly fucking supportive. I thought the best way to fight back was to send vitriolic responses to each and every one of them. But now I see the error of my ways. Instead, I’m going to be noticed. By as many people as possible. As difficult as it is to talk about this at times, I want to be heard. I want every protester possible to know our story so they realize exactly who they’re hurting when they stand outside shouting at people like gutless cowards. And you all have helped make that happen.

And now it’s my dad’s turn. Although he works for a stainless steel company, he used to be a journalist too. And even now he’s a columnist for the local newspaper in our hometown. So he wrote something and now I’m posting it here because I thought it was great and I wanted to share it with as many people as possible.

Thanks dad. I love you.

Abortion – it’s an ugly term.  It has a deservedly harsh connotation to it, conveying an untimely ending and something gone horribly wrong.

My son and daughter-in-law had to make a decision to terminate their pregnancy recently, a pregnancy nearly four months along.  They chose to do it, although in reality there was no choice.  But it was still incredibly difficult.

Their baby – my grandchild – had a rare and fatal congenital birth defect called Sirenomelia, otherwise known as Mermaid Syndrome.  Due to a vascular malfunction, the baby’s legs were fused together.  The baby had no bladder, no kidneys, and no chance of surviving.  The defect occurs once in about every 100,000 births.

The pain this caused my son and his wife, who very much wanted this second child, is indescribable.  You cannot possibly fathom the depths of their despair unless you have been in a similar position.  And while nowhere near as bad, the pain of having to watch our children go through this is something my wife and I pray we never have to experience again.

Our kids handled their situation with all the class, dignity and responsibility human beings can be expected to muster.  We are so proud, even as our hearts break for them.  Their strength and devotion to one another and their two-year-old son is the stuff of legends.

But their ordeal was made even more unnecessarily awful by the politics and social controversy surrounding the abortion issue.  On one of the worst days of their lives, they became victims again – this time at the hands of those trying to do God’s work while in fact doing just the opposite.

Although my daughter-in-law was treated at a major Boston hospital, the time-sensitive nature of the procedure necessitated it be done at an affiliated establishment.  After she and my son mustered the necessary courage and emotional strength to get where they had to go, they were met by something they had not considered in their grief – abortion protestors.

Two women were picketing outside the establishment, carrying signs and “communicating” with women walking in the door.  One carried a sign of religious symbolism.  As my son and his wife tried to enter the building where they would lose the baby they already loved so much, they were approached by the women.

“You’re killing your unborn baby!’ was the remark they would remember most as they walked past.  They were both furious and devastated, but held their tempers and concentrated on what needed to be done.  But once my daughter-in-law was in surgery, my son decided to take on the protestors.

In a calm but firm tone, he told them of his wife’s condition.  How they had accosted her at the most vulnerable point in her life.  How they had hurled accusations when they had no idea of the circumstances.  How they claimed to be protecting, yet seemed more intent on hurting.  And better yet, he recorded the entire conversation on his cell phone and posted it on his internet blog.

These particular protestors care about the unborn, but apparently are not concerned with those who have already come into the world.  They made no attempt to discover the circumstances and just assumed this was a couple ending an unwanted pregnancy.  To them, my kids were simply collateral damage in an ongoing war – the price to be paid for later success.

This column is not about a woman’s right to choose, although I have my own opinions on that matter.  It is about the culture of hatred and disrespect that people today foster when they single-mindedly focus on one goal to the exclusion of nearly all else.  It is about allowing the end to justify the means.

I am so proud of my son, and perhaps even more proud of his wife.  At a time of great personal turmoil, they did not just retreat inside their own grief – though no one would have blamed them.

Rather, they cared enough to take the time to explain to these people how their actions can destroy others.  How their words can scar forever.  How nothing is ever as clear or as simple as it seems.

I love them dearly, and I will never forget the lessons they have taught us all.

Defending Reproductive Justice

Introduction

In 2000, Political Research Associates published Defending Reproductive Rights, an activist resource kit on the anti-abortion movement, by collecting the Right’s own words to demystify the motives and worldviews of those who campaign against progressive causes. We knew that an analysis of anti-abortion arguments would help progressive activists plan more effective campaigns. But we did not know how popular such a collection would be.

Nine years and thousands of kits later we have moved to an all-electronic format making our publication more accessible. Here you will find both the old edition and four completely new sections which explore how conservative organizers have further polarized the abortion debate since 2000 using a few successful arguments repeatedly. In all cases, they deny a woman’s fundamental right to determine the course of her reproductive life based on their outdated, patronizing beliefs about her role in modern society. You will find sample documents from the Right that illustrate how they are currently making their claims. Like the 2000 kit, this edition also includes many pieces from progressive analysts, with an emphasis on defending the wide range of issues we have come to call Reproductive Justice.

The words of PRA Founder Jean V. Hardisty from our original kit continue to resonate today:

It is clear to us that the Right is singularly focused on women who seek to control their own bodies. Women who seek abortions, poor women who have children outside of marriage, Native American women living on reservations, Puerto Rican women living in rural areas, lesbians, women caught in the judicial system, all these women must be assured of a voice and the means to defend their rights and advance their interests.

We hope this Activist Resource Kit on Reproductive Rights is helpful to all those involved in the struggle to preserve and advance reproductive rights and freedom. The time for activism is now; the role of activism is nothing less than preserving women’s basic human rights.

http://www.publiceye.org/ark/reproductive-justice/index.php

rabble repost

Anonymous asked: The other day my friends and I were talking about pro-choice vs. pro-life. I was talking about my reasons for being pro-choice (woman's body and choice, overpopulation, safe, fetus not a human, etc.) One of my friends said that she was going to be aborted and that's why she's pro-life. Another friend said she's pro-life because the mother can just put the baby up for adoption anyway if she doesn't want to have it. Are these valid counerpoints?

Well, we’ve posted stories of people who are pro-choice and their mothers wanted the option of abortion but for whatever reason, they were unable to obtain one. So being pro-life for that reason doesn’t mean someone who could’ve been aborted can’t be pro-choice either.

Adoption is not an option for every woman faced with an unwanted pregnancy. For one, giving up a baby for adoption is much more psychologically traumatizing than an abortion. Adoption is not an alternative to being pregnant, abortion is. Some women cannot carry a baby to term so adoption is not an option for them. Should they still be forced to birth a baby even though it will mean their lives are put at severe risk? Adoption doesn’t cover the cost of prenatal exams, the cost of giving birth (some adoptive parents are willing to pay for it, but not all birth mothers are given that option, what are they supposed to do?), or the cost of post-partum check-ups that a woman will need to have regardless of whether she keeps the baby or gives it up.

Should rape victims be forced to be assaulted at prenatal visits because they conceived during their rape? By that I mean they have to have invasive exams and tests that can be extremely traumatizing for someone who has been raped and perceived as assault.

These are all counterpoints to your friends’ arguments and they have facts behind them.

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/876776264/the-other-day-my-friends-and-i-were-talking-about

abortion IS a constitutional right

OF COURSE NOT. Why should I, being a woman, be allowed by my government to make decisions that only affect me? That would be infringing on my government’s right to infringe my rights, as a woman.

Are you really asking me if I think I should be able to control what happens to my body and have that right protected by the United States Constitution? Of course I do. And the Supreme Court says I have that right.

So…to sum up: I don’t think abortion is a constitutional right, I know it is because the Supreme Court ruled that it was one in 1973.

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/863564607/do-you-think-that-abortion-is-a-constitutional-right

No abortion coverage for high risk pools

This came to me in my ask box and I thought it should be able to be reblogged in case other people have the same question or if any of my tumblr pals would like to add anything to it that I might have missed or been wrong about.

The Question from accordingtosami:

So you seem to be the most knowledgeable, so I’m taking this to you… Why are lifers so up in arms about the new high-risk pools covering abortions? What legislation are they using to cite that, exactly, and what the fuck is going on. I’m lost and I can’t find anything non-biased that addresses their accusations…. Help?

My Answer:

I’ve linked to an article that tries to break this down (I think it’s pretty unbiased). The pro-lifers obviously don’t want women to have abortions so they don’t think state funding should be able to go towards the procedure under government funded health pools (since their tax dollars are included in that). They know that the majority of women who get abortions live under the poverty level and that they won’t be able to afford an abortion (or the future child, but hey, not their problem as long as she births it, amirite?) if it isn’t covered by insurance, so this is really a way for pro-lifers to force women to give birth.

These high-risk insurance pools were made for people who have pre-existing conditions or health issues that would basically bar them from being able to get “normal” health insurance coverage. The problem is that women who fall into this category are more likely to have a dangerous pregnancy and therefore will need access to abortion services that aren’t covered by their insurance.

Unfortunately, when the health care reform was passed a few months ago the Stupak amendments (without which the Health Reform would not have been passed) barred any federal funding to be used for abortions among other stipulations, which includes the high-risk pools (since they are government funded). In addition, President Obama signed an Executive Order stating that no federal funds would be used for abortions in order to get the health reform passed. An insurance company can offer abortion services but the process they have to go through in order to make sure federal funds aren’t used makes even me wonder who would really bother to jump through all those hoops to offer something that is, unfortunately, frowned upon. And if it’s a government-funded insurance program, abortion services coverage won’t even be considered due to these federal stipulations.

This is truly unfortunate. These high-risk women now have access to health insurance they truly need but if they become pregnant and can’t carry the baby to term due to their health, they have to pay out of pocket for the abortion (and mandated ultrasound, depending on what state they live in).

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/820601748/no-abortion-coverage-for-high-risk-pools-q-a-7

Anonymous asked: "That sentence is about the CHILD"
Actually no it isn't, it puts complete and full faith in the mother and the life she was given by her mother. Oh and the child is half of her so caring about the child is caring about her.
"what about those who don’t and know they won’t?"
Still not a reason to choose abortion. There are countless resources out there
"What if a woman doesn’t want to be a mother? What if a woman is incapable of being a mother due to a psychological disorder like severe depression or severe PTSD?"
Still not a reason to take away an entire future. Adoption is also always an option. As for not wanting to be a mother, I hope they took the necessary measures when having sex and thought about the consequences. And not wanting to be a mother is saying that the unborn is not wanted.

No, your quote was:

”[…] see her as strong enough to handle a pregnancy and be a nurturing mother who can raise a child to lead a successful life”

It’s about the child leading a successful life, not the woman leading a successful life. If you actually cared about the mother you would believe her to be strong enough to make a decision about her own body.

And no. Caring about a child is not the same as caring about the mother. The child is its own person, even if half of its genes were donated by the mother, it’s not the same as caring about the autonomous woman who never wanted to have a child she couldn’t afford and therefore can’t provide a “successful” life to.

Well, good thing you’re not getting an abortion, right since that’s not a good enough reason for you. Women have their own reasons to have an abortion and it’s not your place to deem them valid or not since it’s a PERSONAL decision that the woman has a right to make about her own body. There aren’t nearly enough resources out there. If people really wanted to help children, why is the foster care system so over-burdened?

POTENTIAL future, just because a woman is pregnant doesn’t mean that fetus is going to live even if abortion was off the table. Adoption is an option to parenting, abortion is an alternative to being pregnant. Some women can’t carry a baby to term because of health risks, they should have the option of abortion (every woman should regardless of circumstance).

More than 50% of women were using a form of contraception when they conceived, is that what you mean by “necessary measures”? Nice slut-shaming though.

Okay? If a woman doesn’t want to be a mother she has two options available to her and has the right to choose the one that better suits her lifestyle.

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/809458510/that-sentence-is-about-the-child-actually-no-it

Anonymous asked: "Pro-lifers are focused on the fetus, they do not see the women in the equation"
WRONG. We do put the woman in the equation and see her as strong enough to handle a pregnancy and be a nurturing mother who can raise a child to lead a successful life, not on her own but with support from other women.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

be a nurturing mother who can raise a child to lead a successful life

That sentence is about the CHILD, you don’t even get that you’re making it about the child even when you’re arguing that you don’t only focus on the child. What if a woman doesn’t want to be a mother? What if a woman is incapable of being a mother due to a psychological disorder like severe depression or severe PTSD?

You’re assuming a woman receives support, what about those who don’t and know they won’t?

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/809180710/pro-lifers-are-focused-on-the-fetus-they-do-not-see

A queer girls experience at a CPC

First off, let me say that I love your blog. It has given me many resources, and because of it, I have become even stronger in my pro-choice stance. You have spoken out against CPCs, and somehow, I ended up in one and foolishly decided to stay. I wanted to share my story.
My period was a week late. I chalked it up to me getting off birth control, but I was having all of my PMS symptoms. And I had those for two weeks, which  never happened, even before birth control. So, I decided to go to Planned Parenthood, until I remembered that becuase I get free treatment, they wanted my mother’s paystub as proof of the income level I had claimed. Now, my mother and I are very close, but it would have been unreasonable of me to ask my mother to fax something by 9am the next morning. I thought about taking a home test, but I really wanted the counseling because while I am personally uncomfortable with abortion, I am even more uncomfortable with the idea of having a kid growing up in foster homes until he or she is 18. So, I looked online and found a free place that wasn’t a crisis pregnancy center. At 8:00 the next morning, I asked when they opened, and they said 9:00. 
The first thing on the door was a Bible verse: Jeremiah 29:11. I cringed, but went past the daycare center and up the elevator. I was told that even though the center opens at 9:00, the nurses don’t come in until 10:00. So, I waited an hour. All that there were in the waiting room were parenting magazines, and since there was a slim chance of me keeping my pregnancy combined with the fact that it’s been ingrained in my mind since high school that this fetus was a human, I couldn’t read them. I browsed Tumblr and wrote about being in a CPC. I got lots of support.
An hour later, a woman took me into an examination room, and she asked me how I was feeling. I admitted I was nervous because the website I looked at didn’t link to their real website, and I didn’t know I was at a crisis pregnancy center. I also said I was nervous about being pregnant. She asked me why I was nervous, and I said that a CPC had taught us sex ed and took a very pro-life stance on things. I also mentioned they told us the fail rate of condoms was at 50%-60%, which isn’t true. I mentioned my disklike for misinformation, but she cut me off and explained she is an RN. She then asked me what I thought the success rate for condoms was. I said 96%-97% if they are used correctly, and she interrupted me again and said that “nobody really knows how to use them correctly. And it’s more accurate to say that 1 in 6 condoms fail when used properly.” She went on to tell me that sperm are too small to have a condom stop them, let alone HIV. Grinding my teeth, I had to hold back on telling her about the couple I personally knew (they recently broke up) — one who is HIV positive and the other negative. They’d been together for 15 years.
She went on to ask me if I was in a relationship with the father (why she assumed I was only sleeping with one man is a mystery to me, though it is true in my case), and I admitted we had an arrangement. When she asked me to clarify that for her, and I explained that once or twice a week, I’ll call him and he will come over, she turned bright red. She asked if we used condoms, and I said that we did, but that we had a malfunction. She said, “Breakage? Slipped off?” I said, “Well, neither. He had already come but was still pumping.” Again, she blushed and looked away before circling something that wasn’t “sperm might have spilled out while her booty call tried to give her one last orgasm.” I was confused as to why a woman who is so bashful about sex would be doing this job, and I felt like she thought I was very promiscuous.
Her nervousness made me more nervous, and I started wringing my hands and touching my face (it’s something I can’t control when I’m upset), and she asked me if I went to college. At this point, I thought she was trying to calm me down by making small talk; however, when I told her my school, she wrote it down in the “notes” section of her paper. I was taken aback by this, but the real shocker came when I told her I was into web design and she asked me if I would please look at their website and e-mail her about any improvements I could suggest. I wanted to say, “Excuse me? I’m here in the middle of a crisis and you want to ask me to look at your fucking website?” However, I just smiled and nodded.
We went through other questions, and we got to the adoption part. She said she could provide me with three companies for adoption, should I choose that. I nodded and replied that I have no intention in raising a child, should my results come back positive (at this point, I hadn’t even taken the test. I felt like the intake was taking forever, but I’m sure everyone who goes through this feels that way because they are nervous). I mentioned that I am an obese white girl with a family history of alcoholism and mental illness (and heart attacks, but I didn’t say that), while the father is from India (who suffers occasionally from high blood pressure and has gone to the hospital for it a few times, though I forgot to mention that). She smiled and said this wouldn’t be a problem at all, which I know is a big crock of lies. I asked if any of those agencies would help me find a gay or lesbian couple. I explained that I am queer and would prefer to give my child to a couple like that, should I find one I’m comfortable with. She told me that all the agencies are Christian ones, and that a child needs a mother and a father. She asked me if my “arrangement” was female or male, which confused me because up until that point, I didn’t think I could get pregnant from scissoring. Damn. I said he was a guy, and to that she asked if I was ever sexually abused. This question made me angry, so I went into graphic detail about how my first boyfriend was abusive and guilted me into doing sexual things I didn’t like. This is usually a pretty touchy subject to me, and I do admit that it was wrong for me to use that to make this woman uncomfortable.
The nurse, who by this point told me she is an RN three times, then asked me from a scale of 1 to 10, one being definitely one and ten being definitely, how seriously I was considering abortion. I said a firm 8. She asked if the father knew about my period being late, and I replied yes. She asked where he fell on the scale. I replied a 10. She looked absolutely appalled and asked how I was so sure. “This guy definitely isn’t looking for a relationship with me,” I explained. “He certainly isn’t looking for some extra responsibility, either. When I told him about it, he asked if I was considering abortion, and I admitted I was. He said he would help pay for half or more, depending on the help I need.”
Finally, the pregnancy test came. I peed in a cup, and she put my pee on a test strip. She tried to explain to me about the hormone that would be released in my body, but I told her I already understood how a pregnancy test works. We spent the entire three minutes of this time talking about pap smears, and about how when I went to Planned Parenthood, I was 3 months away from the required “X amount of years having sex or you are 21” thing. She was astounded that they didn’t give me the smear and said that it was because I don’t have health insurance. “Actually,” I replied, “I do have health insurance, but because I am below a certain income level, they said I should just not use it so I can get free service. The pills I use aren’t ones they can give away for free, so they are an expense. And the reason I didn’t get the pap smear was because I begged them not to. They said it would be against my better judgement, but they agreed. I won’t be allowed to get service there again if I don’t get one in November.” To that, she said that they have a person who does pap smears and that I could get an appointment for one. I asked if this person was a male, and she said he was.
Now, I like to think myself as a progressive dyke, but I don’t feel comfortable with male general doctors, let alone having one looking at my crotch. This has nothing to do with my first boyfriend. I just don’t want  a guy down there unless I’m having sex with him.
She went on to talk about how an OB/GYN will put her fingers in me, and I explained that already happened. She tried to talk about it more, but t hen the timer went off. I wasn’t pregnant, much to my relief. I smiled and said, “Oh, thank God…” (I am a pretty religious person, and while I don’t personally believe God was destroying sperm on their way to my precious, fertile egg, I like to thank Him for the good things that happen to me). She frowned at me, probably for me using the Lord’s name in vain. The last thing she said to me was, “Well, you didn’t come back positive. Normally, I’d ask someone to abstain for two weeks and see if their period comes, but…” She didn’t finish her sentence. I replied, “Yeah. I’m going to go pick up my birth control (which I was waiting to take until I got my period) now.”
Lesson learned: Take a home pregnancy test and get counseling from a homeless man on the streets before going to a CPC. And also, any time you take a pregnancy test, your period will come the next day.

This story was sent to my inbox and it made me so happy I had to post it right away. Thanks for sharing and congrats on surviving with your sanity intact!

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/788318055/a-queer-girls-experiance-at-a-cpc

“ All mothers of illegitimate children are to be advised that should they have anymore children out of wedlock they shall be denied relief.

—

From this article. So, the guy responsible for this is a republican and probably pro-life cause…well…aren’t they always? This goes to show what pro-lifers have constantly denied: that once a fetus is born they’re on their own and pro-lifers couldn’t give a shit.

The article is talking about a town’s investigation into welfare recipients basically looking into fraud to help the town budget. They didn’t find any evidence of fraud, so the guy, Joseph Mitchell, instituted a bunch of provisions for people to receive welfare, one of which is the lovely statement above.

So, pro-lifers, let’s look at this from a logical point of view (I know it’s hard for you, but try to keep up):

Women get pregnant and have children because they didn’t have the knowledge about birth control, because you wanted to teach abstinence-only education.

Women have said children and can’t afford a basic standard of living, probably because they didn’t have access to an abortion clinic, which you bombed or protested or shut down or because one of your CPCs lied to them about their options.

So then, said women go on welfare to provide their children with food, but can’t afford birth control and possibly still don’t have an education on its use.

Said woman is then kicked off of welfare for having another child because she was never taught about birth control because of education programs you funded and because the abortion clinic closest to her was just shut down by you, therefore forcing her and her children to stop receiving assistance.

Oh…and if you think I missed the slut-shaming “illegitimate children” part, you’d be wrong. This provision is specifically targeting women who are dirty whores and have sex before they’re married, so they must not deserve state assistance, right? And their kids sure as hell don’t deserve it now that they’re born.

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/782377968/all-mothers-of-illegitimate-children-are-to-be

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/853631148/anti-choice-terrorists-leave-dead-animals-and-threats

Of course, when clinics are threatened with violence, it isn’t just doctors that are murdered. According to the National Abortion Federation, there have been over 6200 incidents by anti-choice terrorists against clinics, doctors, employees, volunteers, and patients since 1977.

Let’s take a look at the breakdown of violent incidents:

• 8 murders
• 17 attempted murders
• 41 bombings
• 175 arson
• 97 attempted bomb/arson
• 391 invasions
• 1429 vandalism
• 2057 trespassing
• 100 Butyric Acid attacks
• 661 Anthrax threats
• 184 assault & battery
• 416 death threats
• 4 kidnappings
• 157 burglaries
• 526 stalkings

And that doesn’t mention the attempted disruptions including hate mail and harassing phone calls, emails, bomb threats (643) and clinic blockades (763). Of course, the numbers are actually much higher than this because some of these statistics were not tracked until the mid-1990s.

http://twitpic.com/288fv2

I think this blog is absolutely inspirational. I have never considered myself a feminist, but I have always been pro-choice.
At age 15 I became pregnant. I felt alienated and terrified. I couldn’t speak to my parents about it because I knew they were fairly conservative as far as sex goes, and I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because of fear that I would be judged to be a ‘slut’. I simply didn’t have the money to seek medical help, even though most of the money could have been claimed back at a later date. I felt absolutely trapped.
In the end, I took matters into my own hands. I took a very large dose of pain killers and attempted to abort the foetus myself. I was successful, but I became extremely ill in the aftermath. I bled profusely for days, and I felt extremely emotionally unstable. It was a mentally scarring experience. I feel that I will never, ever recover from it.
I learned a lot from it though. I learned that no other person, regardless of gender, has the right to judge me for what I do with my body. What I do /consensually/ has nothing to do with them. I should not be afraid to express myself, sexually or otherwise. And if they do judge and ridicule me, I should pay no mind, because they are bigots and ignorant, and I want nothing to do with people like that. I came to understand that the people who would have had me keep the baby were often the same people who had no hesitation in labelling me a whore, a welfare-leech and any child of mine a bastard.
I also realised that legal abortions are one of the most important advances made in our society (well I live in Australia, but I speak of western culture in general), because they give women a safe environment in which to conduct abortions, with trained professionals. This is not only important for their physical health, but also mentally. I know now that I had that option open to me, but I was too afraid of social backlash to take it. In retrospect, it would have been better to deal with the issue properly, and spare myself the depression and physical pain I suffered for years afterwards.
I made the wrong choice in not going to a clinic. What I can’t imagine is not having the choice at all. I can’t imagine all those women out there who are FORCED by apparent ‘pro-lifers’ to seek illegal, unsafe methods of aborting their foetuses. Methods which may not only result in death and illness, but are highly traumatic for those people who do survive.
Not all women die from illegal abortions, but all women suffer.
I have a few question for all those pro-lifers out there. How many of you have adopted children? How many of you have taken in the same children you force out into the overcrowded foster system? And why is it that the life of the foetus is so much more sacred than the life of the mother?

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/852609297/i-recieved-this-in-my-ask-box

Anonymous asked: Well even thought the procedure of partial birth abortion is now only recently illegal, other methods of late term abortions are still legal in the United States. The method used is either pill enduced or D & C seen here, http://media.photobucket.com/image/dilation%20and%20curettage/sublimeloverr/Abortion/de.jpg
Most abortion clinics offer abortion services up to the 24-26 week mark which is late late in the 2nd trimester and reaching into the early 3rd. And by then the unborn has reached some incredible milestones while the heart has been beating since late in the very 1st month. A baby survived premature at 21 weeks! And MANY can survive outside the womb at 23 weeks. Some other clinics allow abortions up to 36 weeks but have exceptions which I sure hope they adhere to (still to me doesn't make it right)
http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-7-month-olds-development-week-1_1477266.bc
But overall this is how I feel, I'll quote an early feminist Mattie Brinkerhoff
"When a man steals to satisfy hunger, we may safely conclude that there is something wrong in society - so when a woman destroys the life of her unborn child, it is an evidence that either by education or circumstances she has been greatly wronged."
But just some more food for thought, it's always good to know both sides for any argument :)

Yes, late-term abortions are NEEDED, outlawing partial-birth abortion did not outlaw the practice of late-term abortions, it simply outlawed a specific method of abortion (there is, obviously, more than one way to perform an abortion). Virtually ALL abortions done after 21 weeks (which only makes up 1.5% of abortions) are done for pregnant women who WANTED their baby. The reasons these are performed are because of severe birth defects or exponential risk to the mother’s life. Partial-birth abortion was a way for abortion providers to give the parents a baby to hold and bury. Women who get late-term abortions haven’t just decided to get an abortion, they are in that position due to an extremely unfortunate set of circumstances.

Most abortion clinics offer abortion services up to the 24-26 week mark which is late late in the 2nd trimester and reaching into the early 3rd.

Actually, no. Abortions are not done later than 24 weeks in the US and they most certainly aren’t performed at 36 weeks. For more information on this, please click here. In addition to that, fetuses are incapable of feeling pain until after 24 weeks as well. Fetus survival rates before 24 weeks are exceptionally low.

A beating heart does not grant a fetus personhood. A fetus is not as valuable as a living, breathing, autonomous woman and her rights. You would do better to fight for comprehensive sex education in high schools and community centers, more widely available and cheaper contraception, and voting for legislation that will provide more support for women who do choose to keep their children. Fighting to restrict a woman’s right to her own body will not lower abortion rates, it will only increase the number of women who die from illegal abortions along with their fetuses.

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/808962880/well-even-thought-the-procedure-of-partial-birth

Conscience Clause?

A young Polish woman died of septic shock in 2004 after being repeatedly refused a comprehensive examination, RH Reality Check reports. Her mother and fiancée begged for her to receive treatment that could save her life, but were still denied. Why? Because she was pregnant, and the doctors invoked their "conscience" as not allowing them to perform any medical procedure that might endanger the fetus.

In the end, the woman miscarried anyway, but her illness — complications from ulcerative colitis — was by then so advanced, she died within the month from inflammation throughout her body. Ironically, if she had been given exams and treatment to save her life, that might have kept her from miscarrying due to a worsening disease.

Now, the woman's mother is fighting to make sure that no other women will suffer the same fate as her daughter due to the so-called "consciences" of doctors who would sacrifice the health of a pregnant woman for that of her fetus.

Unable to find satisfaction in Polish courts, the mother has turned to the European Court of Human Rights. The lawsuit is seeking better regulation of doctors' right to deny medical care for religious/moral reasons, namely: enforcement of Polish law requiring doctors to issue referrals to someone who will perform the procedure, requiring the government to guarantee enough medical professionals who will perform any legal service, barring hospitals from invoking conscientious objection as an entire entity, and prohibiting doctors from using this conscience clause to deny medical information or emergency care.

The case is grounded on alleging violations of the European Convention on Human Rights, stating that "medical care that disregards the health of the pregnant woman in favor of that of her fetus violates the woman's rights to life, to freedom from inhumane and degrading treatment, and to non-discrimination."

Sorry if I fail to understand how anybody's "conscience" would push them to deny a young woman life-saving medical care. And given that the doctors' excuse for letting a woman die was to protect the fetus (which was lost anyway), it seems especially poignant that it is the woman's mother who wants to make sure this cannot happen again. After all, this 25-year-old woman was her child, a child she had to watch die unnecessarily.

In the United States, the "conscience clause" is usually discussed as something that lets hospitals, doctors, and nurses refuse to participate in abortion procedures, or lets pharmacists deny birth control to women, due to religious objections. In many ways, such conscience clauses are simply a backdoor attempt to limit reproductive rights, and women's rights advocates argue that medical professionals have a duty to provide for all legal medical needs. Nonetheless, conscience clauses are still viewed by many as solely restrictions on a woman's "choice," not a threat to her health or life, and thus, eh, not all that bad.

This Polish case demonstrates that, both in America and around the world, we must be especially careful that such calls to conscience do not again cause the death of a young woman unlucky to be simultaneously ill, pregnant, and in the care of doctors who didn't think her life was valuable enough to save.

http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/25-year-old_polish_woman_dies_due_to_conscience_clause

What if your mother tried to abort you!?

I received this in my inbox and only recently got around to reading it.

You should all read it.

First off, I have to say I love your blog. I have learned more in the past couple months of following then in the past 2 decades. I’d prefer to stay anonymous, seeing as my screen name is fairly unique and as well I’d like to respect my mothers privacy, especially since very few in my family know about this.
This is a response to the “What if you were aborted” post, figured I’d share since I’ve pretty much come as close to being aborted as possible without actually being aborted.
I’m one of 6 siblings, and we grew up pretty harsh. Little food, medical care was sparse at best (Unless we were bleeding to death, we never saw a doctor), and even basic at home education and hygiene were neglected (I was never shown how to brush my teeth, tie a show, I didn’t even know about brushing until high school). My mother had my two elders by choices, but because of life changes could not afford to take of a third. That’s me. At this point money was so tight she barely sought medical help, and quickly came to the decision to get an abortion. My father made this very hard for her. Knowing my father, he shamed her, more then likely abused her physically, and also made sure that the whole family knew what was going on.
It came close to the due date, and mother, desperate to end the pregnancy, took it into her own hands. I don’t know the details, I didn’t find out till I was 16, after I had been legally emancipated, and got a hold of my medical records from my mother. Amongst the records was a letter detailing the death of a female child, hours before I was born. I asked my mother, and she denied knowing anything. After some investigating, I found the doctor that performed my birthing. She told me that my mother had attempted ending her own pregnancy, and something went wrong. She didn’t know she was pregnant with twins. My grandfather found her and rushed to her to the hospital, where they c-sectioned and delivered me, treated my mother, and took what would would have been my sister.
You can imagine the pain and hurt I was experiencing. I became abhorrently pro life, I ex-communicated from my mother entirely (To whom I never had a good relationship with anyways, but she was still my mother), and just began to shame her. After a while, some soul searching if you will, my stance switched over to pro-choice. I could never force a decision onto another person, but I never forgave my mother. Circumstances came that I was injured, lost my job, and became homeless. My mother took me in when she found out. I still never talked to her, in my mind I was always thinking she never wanted me, why does she pretend now. Things changed and when I could get out on my own again, I did.
I began reading your blog, and learned a number of things I just refused to face because of the pain it would resurface. I called my grandfather, and he told me how my mother was scared. She didn’t want to give up her child, but could not raise it with what they were making. My birth financially put our family in a death spiral, one which my mother couldn’t recover from, and my father refuse to even acknowledge. She began drinking, my fathers abuse became worse. She went on and had 3 more children, afraid of abortion, afraid of what would happen if she even mentioned otherwise having the kids.
I mulled it over for a while, I have one child, whom I love. We can take care of him well, we are doing fine. A second would be all but impossible to take care of, and I’m not even sure my wife could handle the pregnancy. I had a moment of clarity, and called my mother. I forgave, I apologized, but more then that, I acknowledged her love for me. Abortion is not a act of hate, of disinterest. It is an act of compassion in many cases. While I may have missed out on what are now the best times of my life, I understand she didn’t do it because she hated me. She was afraid, and the last thing she needed was another form of control and abuse. I know now it was not me who wrecked the family, I made it tough, but it was the hate and control of the other men/women in her life, that refused to let her make her own decision, one I could now agree with. While I may never know my twin sister, I know she wasn’t murdered. And if she was, it was because of anti-choice. My grandfather called!
, and said my mother stopped drinking after her conversation with me, and is now really trying to live. She’s gonna visit her grandson here soon, and I’m gonna give her the support she’s been needing this whole time.
Just thought I would share that, for all those assholes who argue “What if you were aborted, how would you feel.”

If I may first say “Holy Shit.”

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so glad I was able to help you and I wish you nothing but the best.

Love,

Rabble

http://rabbleprochoice.tumblr.com/post/848292811/what-if-your-mother-had-tried-to-abort-you

Right to life

Right to Life

A woman is not a pear tree

thrusting her fruit in mindless fecundity

into the world. Even pear trees bear

heavily in one year and rest and grow the next.

An orchid gone wild drops few warm rotting

fruit in the grass but the trees stretch

high and wiry gifting the birds forty

feet up among inch long thorns

broken atavistically from the smooth wood.

A woman is not a basket you place
your buns in to keep them warm. Not a brood
hen you can slip duck eggs under.
Not the purse holding the coins of your
descendants till you spend them in wars.
Not a bank where your genes gather interest
and interesting mutations in the tainted
rain, any more than you are.
You plant corn and you harvest
it to eat or sell. You put the lamb
in the pasture to fatten and haul it in to
butcher for chops. You slice the mountain
in two for a road and gouge the high plains
for coal and the waters run muddy for
miles and years. Fish die but you do not
call them yours unless you wished to eat them.
Now you legislate mineral rights in a woman.
You lay claim to her pastures for grazing,
fields for growing babies like iceberg
lettuce. You value children so dearly
that none ever go hungry, none weep
with no one to tend them when mothers
work, none lack fresh fruit,
none chew lead or cough to death and your
orphanages are empty. Every noon the best
restaurants serve poor children steaks.

At this moment at nine o'clock a partera
is performing a table top abortion on an
unwed mother in Texas who can't get
Medicaid any longer. In five days she will die
of tetanus and her little daughter will cry
and be taken away. Next door a husband
and wife are sticking pins in the son
they did not want. They will explain
for hours how wicked he is,
how he wants discipline.
We are all born of woman, in the rose
of the womb we suckled our mother's blood
and every baby born has a right to love
like a seedling to sun. Every baby born
unloved, unwanted, is a bill that will come
due in twenty years with interest, an anger
that must find a target, a pain that will
beget pain. A decade downstream a child
screams, a woman falls, a synagogue is torched,
a firing squad is summoned, a button
is pushed and the world burns.
I will choose what enters me, what becomes
of my flesh. Without choice, no politics,
no ethics lives. I am not your cornfield,
not your uranium mine, not your calf
for fattening, not your cow for milking.
You may not use me as your factory.
Priests and legislators do not hold shares
in my womb or my mind.
This is my body. If I give it to you
I want it back. My life
is a non-negotiable demand.

Abort Protesters

I made a deal with myself and the universe this morning. If the pro life protesters didn’t negatively affect MJ today, then I wouldn’t let them affect me. After all, she’s the only one who matters right now. It’s not time to be selfish, it’s time to do whatever it takes to make MJ happy.

When we drove up this morning, my blood boiled immediately. There were more of them today, on each side of the street. And this time they had an increased number of signs and banners. One said “99 Babies Saved Since 2009.” Another said “God is Pro-Life.” One guy had a picture of a fetus that said “Is This a Child or a Choice?” I took deep breaths and put my arm around MJ. When they spotted us walking toward the door, they started yelling.

“YOU’RE KILLING YOUR UNBORN BABY!” was the most offensive of the remarks I heard.

I turned toward them ready to unleash every ounce of fury, but I remembered MJ. So I glared at them for one more second and reluctantly walked inside. We were searched (because some anti-abortion protesters have been known to go postal and shoot up a place or just bomb it) and finally seated. I took a deep breath and felt my blood pressure and heart rate return to normal.

But when I looked at MJ she was in tears.

Those self-righteous assholes had gotten to her. Without knowing one solitary thing about her or why we were there, they inserted themselves directly into our nightmare and made it that much worse. So now my wife, who was already nervous as hell prior to surgery, is near hysterics. Me not being allowed in there with her only made it that much more painful.

I was seething and glaring out the window at a woman holding a picture of Jesus across the street. Then MJ asked me what I was going to do for the next couple of hours. I looked at her, then looked out the window, then back at her. I asked permission with my eyes, never uttering a word. And as they called her name she nodded and gave me a kiss.

Here’s the result. Sorry it’s sideways and I’d fast forward to about the 40-second mark:

Hands down, my favorite part of that video is when the lady on the right asks me if I’m recording and then turns away. This is a woman who stands out in public all day long yelling awful things at complete strangers, holding offensive signs that are seen not only by the women at the clinic, but also the countless people (and kids) who pass by. Yet when I’m recording her she turns away to hide her face and calls it “ridiculous.”

I was on a public sidewalk, same as her. I was shouting things at her, just like she does to others all day long. But even though she’s in plain view of everyone, she balks at someone recording her (which is perfectly legal by the way). And that showed me something very important. It showed me these people are, at least a little bit, ashamed of themselves and ashamed of what they’re doing. Why else wouldn’t you want to be recorded? You’re already making a public spectacle of yourself, but all of a sudden you’re upset when someone else turns the tables?

And then she threatens to call the cops on me (more on this later). And for what? For standing on a public sidewalk and verbalizing an opposing viewpoint. I was never threatening and I never used foul language. I did nothing wrong and I was well within my rights to be there. She thinks her First Amendment rights should be upheld because she is on “God’s side,” but mine should be squashed because I’m of a different opinion.

Look, I’m not pigeonholing all pro life people. I know plenty of people and have dear friends and family who are pro life. Ardent pro lifers actually. And while I disagree with them wholeheartedly, I respect their opinions.

But I do not respect any person who stands outside a clinic and harasses women when they are at their most vulnerable and frightened. This is a perfectly legal medical procedure. It’s unfortunate, but necessary. And furthermore, none of these religious nutjobs have the right to control what another woman does with her body. And because they lack that power, they turn into bullies who pick on the weak and try to guilt them in despicable fashion.

And I realized today that no one really stands up to these people. When I approached them today they had no idea how to react. I’m sure they’ve had some run-ins before, but for the most part people are afraid of the protesters. And they capitalize on that fear.

Not yesterday.

Yesterday I discovered just how cowardly these people really are. They didn’t respond to a single one of my arguments. They had no salient points and could only fall back on their rehearsed rhetoric. They could be volunteering in the schools or youth programs to try to fix the problem of teenage pregnancy at it’s core. But they aren’t. Instead they take the coward’s way out, picketing and putting on a shameful public display that, in the end, accomplishes nothing.

That woman held a sign that said “99 babies saved.” But I wonder, how does she know that? I assume she’s saying 99 women have changed their minds or been scared away by protesters. But these protesters have no idea what happened to those babies. Maybe they went back to the clinic on another day. Or maybe they were born. Born into families that didn’t want them, and only had them because some woman called her a “baby killer” after she had finally worked up the nerve to make the right decision for her.

I know the protesters are very religious because they were holding pictures of Jesus and they had a sign that said “God is Pro-Life.” First of all, I don’t know about any of you but I won’t even put words in my wife’s mouth. Yet these people picketing on street corners are speaking for God??? Even if I believed in God I certainly don’t buy the fact that a supreme being would pick such lousy representatives to spread his word.

So in making the educated guess these religious protesters lean right politically, that means they are probably fiscally conservative. Mention the welfare program to these guys and they nearly have a heart attack. Which is hilarious because the only way some of these moms-to-be can make it with a kid is to sign up for taxpayer-subsidized social assistance programs. So that means the same people who protest to bring these children into the world are the first ones to cut them off at the knees in terms of care.

Or in other words, these protesters don’t give a shit about these babies once they’re born.

I’m not sure if nutjob lady protester actually called the cops after I left, but there was a squad car there later in the afternoon. They never questioned me or anything, but the protesters all packed up and left shortly after the cop’s arrival. But the fact remains I had every right in the world (as do they) for being there and there was nothing they could’ve done to shut me up. I can’t prove they called the cops because of me and I don’t know why they decided to leave. But MJ (who is doing well and recovering now) told me she was proud of me for standing up to them. And for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely happy.

So if you’re against abortion, that’s cool. Don’t have one. But when you decide to protest and scare people and make total strangers feel horrible, then you become trash. Human garbage. Excrement. And it’s my sincere hope that more people will stand up to these bullies in a non-violent manner and let them know what they’re doing is not OK.

The daughter of an abortion protester

I was six, maybe seven. I know I was in the first grade when my mother took me to my first abortion protest. We met up with some women from our church, who also had their children with them, outside of a  local Women’s Center that did abortions. Signs were passed out and hung on strollers or around small children’s necks and everyone was given a handful of pamphlets to give out. Up until that point I did not know what abortion was.

Before the protest started there was a prayer by those who had gathered. I looked around at the signs but had just begun to read. There were pictures of dismembered fetuses and pictures of babies on the signs and words like God, Jesus, hate, love and killer. After the prayer people spread out on the sidewalk right outside the clinic. This was 1980(?) and there were no laws keeping protestors back. Women going into the building literally had to walk pass all the protestors, even brushing up against them, as they were yelled at not to go in and called murderers. Some of the women were crying, some yelled back at us, some turned around and didn’t go in which was considered a victory by my mother’s friends.

This was my introduction to the abortion debate.

My mother was an anti-abortion activist. She belonged to the National Right To Life Committee and attended local and state rallies, donated her money and time to the pro-life cause. Pro-life brochures and magazines could be found in our home, full of graphic pictures and descriptions of abortion proceedures. She once had a list of all the doctors who performed abortions in the United States and at the top of the page they were listed as murderers and baby killers. My mother showed me and my brother films about abortion. Graphic films. Films that put slasher movies we were not allowed to see to shame.

When I was fifteen I attended a pro-life speech that was put on for youth at a local church I attended with friends. A man stood on the stage and gave this lengthy speech about abortion that was followed by a slide show of abortion in America. After it was over there was a question and answer session. Several people stood and asked about how they could prevent women from having abortions or moral questions in the case of rape or incest. Then I stood with my question. “Sir, I am wondering what you are doing right now for those children who are unwanted or neglected by their parents who might have chosen abortion. Are you a foster parent or an adoptive parent?” My friend sitting next to me slumped in her seat and hung her head low. The man, whose name I forget, responded “No, but I do donate my time and money to places like Sav-A-Life and agencies that provide baby beds and clothes to women who have had babies.” I remained standing even though I had asked my question. “So, what you are telling me is that, once we prevent  a woman from having an abortion and give her a few baby items, she is on her own?” There was an uncomfortable pause, and then a stuttering response “Um, well, no that isn’t what I am saying. However, these young women need to take responsibility for their sexual misconduct. Their, um, sin. They need to repent for their sexual sins.” I sat down dissatisfied and disturbed that a man who was such an advocate for life, didn’t really give much thought for taking care of the lives of children that are already here and essentially saw these children as a repercussion for sin.

These memories that stand out to me left a lasting impression. They are not ones that led me to take up my mother’s cause either. When ever I was around pro-life advocates I never felt they were compassionate towards women or that they even cared for women. This was something that often caused arguments between me and my mother when I questioned her about the rights of women or the health of the woman. One of the most disturbing things I realized is that the majority of pro-lifers who advocate so strongly for the unborn are the very ones who are against social programs that would feed, house, clothe, and provide medical care to the unborn once they are born. They will talk to you till they are blue in the face about the right of the unborn to be born, but once they are here, they turn their heads and say not my problem, not my responsibility. I realize that not all those who are anti-abortion are like that, but many are and it is something I have never quite understood.

One of the other problems I have with the pro-lifers is the way they speak for God and the way they use the Bible to judge and hurt other women. As a child I did not understand why there was such violence and hate speech hurled at women who were seeking abortions. It seemed like the most un-Christian way to go about “saving a life”. It was such a contradiction to the teachings of Jesus and the whole “judge not lest ye be judged”. I believe it is best that we leave women and the choices they make about their bodies between them and their partners and their God. None of us know what God wants for another’s life. As my Aunt Bonnie always said “No one is God’s Vice President”.

When protesters are standing across the road from an abortion clinic, holding signs, and screaming out judgments they are unaware of why that woman is walking into a Planned Parenthood or a women’s center that does abortions. They could be going in there for a pap smear, breast exam, blood tests for STDs or birth control. If a woman is going into a clinic for an abortion, you may not know what her life circumstances are. You may be completely unaware of why she has come to the decision she has. You may not realize what horrible thing has happened and that you are making an already painful time in her life all the much harder. What pro-lifers have deemed a holocaust is really no more than religious terrorism with a platform for a modern day witch hunt.

Today I am pro-choice. Not because I advocate for abortion, but because I advocate for women’s reproductive freedoms. I am fully aware of what an abortion entails and what it is. I’ve been pregnant plenty of times and had ultrasounds at every stage of pregnancy. No one needs to sit down and explain to me each developmental stage of an embryo and fetus or when life begins. I’ve got that down pat. While I am not as far to the left on this issue as one might think, I hold firm on not restricting access to abortion or making it illegal; this I am quite certain my mother would not be proud of.

http://itsabeautifulwreck.com/2010/07/daughter-of-abortion-protester/